Ars Gratia Deus

My mullings, My ponderings, My hopes, My pains, My desires, My failures, My Loves ....in here.

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Location: Burbank, California, United States

Is it selfish to want to effect people? Is it a handicap to need as much love as you give? Is it unethical to believe in Truth? Is it arrogant to worship God? I hope not, cause then I'm fucked.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

M.oM. for JUNE 2006 (Sunday, June 25, 2006)

What a fantastic day I had today. I must first whole-heartedly endorse seeing the exhibit at the UCLA Hammer museum called, "Societe Anonyme" The exhibit featured works from the members of the society whom gathered together to bring Modernism to America and to promote Modernism in general. I have to say that that time period, circa 1910's to 1939ish is really influential for me. Kandinsky being the most. I feel that I was Kandinsky in my last life because I feel like I relate so strongly to his pieces. I feel that if I were an accomplished artist, I would produce work much like his.
I would like to, and have to a degree, spent time learning about fin de siecle Paris and Vienna. That period in time, that turn of the century, the ending of one era and the beginning of the next was revolutionary in painting, music, film(the birth of) and even politics. What a truly grand time. What a time of substance and exploration. I realize that there was a movement away from representational art, away from realism, and into the abstract, obscure, Dadaist, surreal and impressionist, a movement that seemed to be birthed from the advent of the camera. _A great conversation took place between Ryan Green, Jessie Rainboldt and I today in an underground parking structure. Ryan mentioned how with photography, there was a way to PERFECTLY capture reality(in it's stillness anyhow.) And so art moved away from the representational, which is purely what photography is, although it can be made otherwise, and into the impressionist. Even cinema was representational at it's birth, very documental. And then it moved to narrative and then into the surreal with Buster Keaton (a hero to many surrealists during the 1920's) and definitely with Man Ray and Dali Un Chein Andalou. And you REALLY move into the abstract with Oskar Fischenger and a lot of fellas I've been studying lately.
It's so easy to take for granted what you see in these works of that time because it doesn't seem like anything new. Until you realize that these artists were the originators of these styles. The very styles that influenced the video artists of the early MTV art pieces and the editing pace the gen Xers and Yers have become accustomed to. How jaw dropping it must have been to see such a chaos on screen. Objects, images, people, all moving around so quickly, with little explanation and with little to hold onto in terms of continuity, narrative or any convention commonly used by filmmakers. Today I was floored and filled to the brim with all that I saw in the exhibit. I believe it to be my very favorite exhibit so far, perhaps with the exception of BodyWorlds. I want so much to have an art studio, sun lit with plenty of canvases and many, many tubes of paint. And more brushes than I can count. And I want to experiment and slay into that canvas with all aplomb. I want to put layer upon layer and carve out something that feels like it was borne of me.
But of course all artists want these perfect conditions, free of financial restraint, time restraint, any responsibilities... so that they can exist to create. It's never that way. And it's probably not supposed to be that way anyhow because for some reason it's the struggle to get what you're trying to express out of you, whether it be on the piano keyboard, the blank page, the naked canvas or the block of marble. You've got to struggle and fight, yourself, your environs, others, you've got to wrestle God and see how he plays into it...all sorts of things to overcome. But I suppose like most anything, perhaps all things, it's not worth a shit if it isn't difficult. Beauty is borne of strife and struggle. Art and people as well. I'm not sure I look forward to those struggles as a person, but as an artist they sound very tantalizing.

Here is something I'm adding at a later time(about an hour later.) I totally forgot the very best part of the day. While at the museum I met a fantastic fellow and artist named Igor de Kansky and 80 year old man who involved me in the most enjoyable conversation for nearly the full four hours I spent searching the walls. He would come over to me to talk about a few things, we would wander around and discuss some works and then we'd part only to reconvene later for more discourse. I was very excited about this. And we became friends in that time. He gave me his card and we said we'd converse more online and perhaps run into each other at another museum.
I cannot tell you what a treat it was to see a fantastic exhibit and have an old master give insights along the way. What a great experience.

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