Ikea is for lovers (07/16/06)

So I haven't been to Ikea in some time but I hadda notion to go today and I had the following thoughts. One, I thought it would be fun to go with someone, it would be fun to go with a girl, it would be fun to go with a girl I like (like-like) BUT... I realized a small yet important rule about Ikea. Ikea is a normal home furnishings store when you go with friends or family, but, when you take a girlfriend to Ikea, it means something else all together. I mean, you just can't take a girl you've recently begun to date because it means something. She might not even realize it, and girls always realize that stuff, but it does indeed mean something. When you take a girlfriend to Ikea all of a sudden you're playing house. You're walking through and thinking, if not saying, "oh, this would look cute in our, ahem, my place, a place, someplace...uh, err..." and her domestic instincts are flaring up over futons and underwear drawers and places to put her shoes in ya'll bedroom and thinking how it will match the tea-green walls.... what walls were we talking about again?
You know you've seen those couples walking through the endless maze of faux kitchens, living rooms, bedrooms... ad infinitum. The girl is holding his hand and then she'll break away half pulling him to check out the sleek euro-looking bathroom mirror and he's half checking out the surprising amount of woman shopping who actually look Swedish.
And then you have that mid-Ikea break where you grab some fucking lignonberry punch and a handful of meatballs with lingonberry sauce and it's all very inexpensive and you sit down and you realize, "oh my gosh, this was a serious move I made today."
I mean, you might be really happy about what you see in the crystal ball that Ikea is for relationships. Hopefully you realize that you have the same taste in armoires or notice a small but really charming and beautiful idiosyncrasy that she has when looking for a piece for her conceptualized dream house, with you. Perhaps it's the glint in her eye as she envisions what ya'll bedroom will look like, or wardrobe where she'll stash her sexy things. Or maybe it's even the potential business acumen you sense behind her eyes as she looks over the array of desks for the home office, the space you'll both use to handle finances and investments, decisions you'll make together and which will strengthen your relationship. Personally, I find fiscal responsibility in women very sexy.
But I'll tell you, you know what would really sell me on a girl is if she bought me a $1 vanilla soft serve on the sly as I was in line treating her to the dish set she really liked and was waiting for me at the automatic doors with a look in her eyes that said, "You're good to me, I love when you show me love in small ways, I'm gonna be your wife and you know it, even if you're scared to be a husband. But I have faith in you. Here's a cold ice cream cone and a warm kiss to make you feel as certain as I do about it."